


Reformed Hope

by LittleMissMoriarty



Category: Sherlock (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Imprisoned Loki, Jötun anatomy, Mpreg, Other, Rape, SHIELD, graphic birth, mentioned torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:03:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissMoriarty/pseuds/LittleMissMoriarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For months, Loki Laufeyson has been held prisoner in S.H.I.E.L.D's airborne headquarters and kept in a cell meant for a beast of rage, with nothing but the burden of his past to dwell on. Held solely responsible for the near destruction of New York City, he spends his time alone, brooding. Each day he paces, each day his secret gets harder and harder to bear. With his brother closing in, time is running out, and soon his secret will make itself known, or shall we say, themselves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Scarred Mind

"Get off of me!"

"Oh come on baby!"

"Somebody, help!"

"Shh, we don't want anyone to interrupt our brief time together would we? And it would be a sin to not finish this supple dinner wouldn't it? Yes it would!"

" I am Loki, Prince of Asgard and I demand that you release me!"

"You know what would be great? If I had a chimichanga in one hand and rogue's tit in the other, ahh, that would be bliss!"

"Stop, please stop!"

"Woah, hold on now darling, daddy's bringin' home the sugar!"

"NOOO! (Sob) no...."

"Oh baby, that-that was amazing! I'm speechless, you were even better than myself! We better go before someone notices. Duh, of course! Well, thanks for the good time but I've gotta split."

 

Loki's mind kept on replaying the same memory over and over again as he lay curled in a puddle, abused and beaten. Shaky sobs forced their way out of his mouth, where a metallic tang of blood played on his tongue. Grit from the pavement pressed into the side of his face and legs. Muddy water made his clothes heavy and wet. Rain hit against his bare skin like small bullets. It numbed his skin. The cold, normally something that wouldn't affect Loki, was clawing into him mercilessly. His tears merged with the puddle. They flowed down his cheeks and onto the floor below. He could feel each one slide across his face, it made his skin crawl. The tear trails left his cheeks open to the bite of the cold air. It was dark, with only the faintest of light emanating from the lamps in the far off street, where shaded figures walked up and down without any knowledge of him. Tall buildings blocked out the moon and loomed over Loki menacingly. They seemed to threaten him.

After 20 minutes of lying on the floor, he stood up gingerly, and pain coursed through his body. He keeled over and hissed painfully, his lips pulled back into a snarl. His back burned from where he was dragged up the brick wall violently by that... Monster. He was so forceful, so primitive, the way that he just came out of nowhere and tackled Loki to the wall. How he had abused Loki's body, like a toy, twisting and grabbing with no regard for Loki's distress. Midgardians had a word for that. Rape. Loki Laufeyson had been raped by a petty Midgardian. Odin was right, he was pathetic. Loki had tried to summon his sceptre, but his hands had been trapped between his attacker and the wall. This rendered him defenceless, a perfect opportunity for the predator to roughly examine his prey's body with his hands and hips.

When Loki had felt the attacker inside of him, he had wanted to scream, it was even worse in human form. At least when he was a horse, it was tolerable, almost pleasurable for Loki. The equine instinct that came with the form change had made sure of that, and by the end of it, the horse had more or less taken over, save for the tiny part of Loki's intelligent mind. But whilst in a humanoid form, it was a living nightmare, he had been fully aware throughout it all, he felt each thrust and each time he pulled in and out. Even though he was wounded on the outside,with torn skin and developing bruises, Loki's heart hurt even more. It ached with sorrow and pain, broken from the torment he had been subjected to, present and past. Shuddering, he pulled up his trousers that had been forced down to his knees, his hands shaking uncontrollably. He cursed at his feebleness. His female breasts ached from where hands had grabbed and squeezed harshly. Part of his mind was still in pure shock, unable to process what had just happened. Under his breath, he managed to stutter the enchantment to change him back into his male self, himself. He felt numb, only the painful throbbing of his bruises and ripped skin managed to smash through the wall of shock. After wiping his face, he sighed and limped into the street.

Why had I gone out at night? And why did I go whilst I was so vulnerable? 

Loki racked his brain for safe places to stay, so he could rehabilitate and regain his strength. He couldn't stay out on the streets, it was too risky, especially due to the fact that he was injured and too weak to defend himself in case someone else tried to attack him. His eyes widened as he remembered a place he could go to. He rummaged around in his damp pocket and his shaking fingers closed around a scrunched up ball of parchment. He pulled it out and unscrewed it, sloppy handwriting was scrawled across it. He held it up to the street light so he could see it easier. The light shine through the paper and illuminated the writing. Water had blotched the blue ink, causing the already messy words to become even harder to understand. Loki frowned, trying to figure out what it said. 

When Thor had given Loki the address of Jane Foster's residence, Loki had screwed it up and threw it at Thor's chest, who had then stomped away. Loki was glad that he had collected it later. 

After deciphering the address, Loki set off towards Jane Foster's house. Luckily, he had spent most of his time on Midgard in New York, so he knew roughly the layout of the streets.

Eventually, Loki arrived at a green door with the number 21 in brass on the front. He checked the parchment to see if he had gotten the right address, which he had and pushed it back into his pocket. He stumbled up the stairs and knocked loudly on the door's surface with his fist, wincing from the pain that flared in the ripped skin of his knuckles. It was a while before he heard heavy footsteps near the door and he stepped back. The door opened slightly, restrained by a chain. Loki leaned into the small gap to meet Jane Foster's eyes. She rubbed them and groggily mumbled

"What do you want?"

"W-we haven't met, but I believe that you are familiar with my brother, Thor? I am Loki."

It took her a while to register Loki's face and what he had just said, but It wasn't long after her vision (and mind) had cleared that she gasped in realisation and slammed the door in Loki's face. His eyes darted all over the door, startled at her hostility. He heard her muffled shout through the door. 

"Go away!" 

Her voice was fraught with terror, which in any normal case would've made Loki grin with delight, but he was too desperate to care. The monster Loki had been overpowered by its original predecessor. He felt his stomach drop with fear and his mouth fell agape. Dread reared its ugly head, and panic blossomed in his heart. This was the only place he could go that was safe for him. He smacked his palm against the door, he could feel his legs quivering.

"Please I-I-I need help! I-I-I..." He stuttered, hyperventilating with panic. 

His eyes were welling up and tears started to fall down his cheeks. His breathing grew shallow and ragged as he started to sob. 

Jane was silent, and the door remained shut. By now, the rain had died down to a light shower. He had assumed that she had walked away from the door, away from him. He let go. Tears flowed down his face and into his hanging mouth. There wasn't enough air, it was like he was trapped. Suffocating slowly. Every fibre of his body felt weak and shaky, like his bones had been torn out of him. Eyes wide with horror, he let his hand fall to his side with a smack and turned away from the door. But just as he was about to limp down the stairs, Jane unlocked it, chain still holding it closed, and stared at Loki. He really was a sorry sight, face smeared with dirt and blood, and his eyes, one of which had a bruise forming underneath it, were bloodshot from crying. His bottom lip had burst and the area around his mouth had swollen. Tiny bits of grit stuck to his skin and left indents from where they had settled. The plain shirt was torn, bloody and soaked through, his slim build outlined by the clinging fabric. It could hardly be called a shirt anymore, it resembled rags more than anything. His arms were shaking uncontrollably from both fear and coldness, locks of black hair were plastered against his mottled face, droplets of water running down his cheeks. She sighed and fully opened the door to allow the dishevelled God inside, jutting her head to the side as an invitation to go in. Jane couldn't help but notice his ripped and bloodied back as he stumbled in, and her mouth fell agape slightly.

What had happened to him?


	2. Forgotten Tragedies

It took Loki 20 minutes to get to a point where he could talk without dissolving into tears as soon as he opened his mouth. He sat quietly at the wooden table with his hands wrapped around a mug, gently sipping the tea Jane had made him, the hot liquid vibrating from his shaking hands. His eyes remained staring down at his lap, wide and staring. Jane sat opposite him, she couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for Loki, but she still couldn't let her guard down around the God of mischief. She stared at him, arms folded. 

"Why were you even in New York?" She asked.

He glanced at her before carefully placing his cup carefully on the wooden table with a small thump. He stared at it for a while before answering.

"I, um, I was s-stranded here after the Bifrost was destroyed." He said quietly, moving the cup slightly with his finger. 

Jane studied him. Thor hadn't come back yet, so she was oblivious to the events that happened in Asgard. He could be lying.

"Oh..." 

She looked awkwardly around the room whilst Loki remained fixated on his mug. The room was painfully silent, the only sound was the gentle ticking of the clock in the far corner. Every so often, the tick of the clock would make Loki flinch, as if he had just drifted into the state of oblivion, and the small sound had pulled him from it. He remained very still. She leant in and placed her arms on the table in front of her. She pulled the chair closer in using her feet, staring at Loki as she did so.

"And what exactly happened to you so you'd get into such a state?" She hissed, not expecting it to come out do harshly.

Loki flinched at the sharpness of her tone, and he fiddled his thumbs nervously. He glanced up at her hesitantly. He frowned, unsure if he was able to explain what happened to him without crying. Tears threatened to make an appearance as he sighed shakily. 

"This-this man... um, he-he pushed me against a wall and-and-and, um, had his way with my-my body." He explained, choking back tears. 

Jane's mouth opened slightly in shock at what had happened to Loki, but she quickly shut it again before he could see her reaction. He looked like lost child, the way he sat with a stooped back and watering eyes. He sniffled and a single tear ran down his cheek. She grabbed some kitchen roll from the sink and handed it to Loki, who took it with a grateful nod. He stifled a sob before wiping his eyes with the tissue. He fiddled around with it in his hand whilst biting his lip. Jane leant in and grabbed his hands assuredly, stopping him from moving them. She felt that somehow this was betraying Thor, but the way he was so broken... She couldn't help but offer support. He looked up in bewilderment at her sudden change of attitude, before smiling weakly at her. It broke her heart. She couldn't kick him out, not after he was raped. 

"What did he look like?"

"I didn't see his face, he was wearing some sort of war apparel, red and black, and he-he kept on talking to himself, like he had others in his head."

"Oh..." Jane looked away, she thought she knew who it was, but she couldn't remember the name given to him.

Her eyes flickered over his ragged clothes, shreds of pale skin showing through gaps. He couldn't stay in them.

"I have some clothes left over from when Thor stayed with me a while, they may be a little bit big on you but any things better than what you're in at the moment, I could get you some?" Jane asked, stroking Loki's cold hand with her thumb. 

He smiled at her and weakly nodded his head. Jane stood and ran up the stairs to fetch some clothes, leaving Loki alone in the kitchen. She quickly returned with a grey shirt and a pair of jeans folded neatly in her arms. She handed them to Loki and politely looked away whilst he changed into the clothes. After a few minutes of rustling and the scraping of the chair, Loki quietly said.

"You can look now." 

Jane turned her head back to Loki, who was in the middle of putting his top on, and she gasped in horror. His pale skin was covered in deep purple bruises, some were even black. Large scars travelled from one side of his stomach to the other and what seemed like a strange alien symbol had been branded onto his skin above his hip. Strangle marks shone red against his neck, Jane didn't know how she had missed them before. Loki noticed her gasp and flushed pink with embarrassment, quickly pulling his top over his torso and returning to his hunched up position. Jane shook her head and snapped out of the trance she had fallen into after seeing his beaten body.

"I'm-I'm sorry, I just didn't realise how bad it was I-"

"No it's fine, they'll fade..." Loki said quietly, Jane was right, they were bad, and they were so painful, but he was used to it.

Jane stared at him wondrously, amazed at how calm he was about them, she wondered what grotesque torment he must've been subjected to be so used to the condition his body was in. Again, the room was cloaked in silence. About half an hour passed without neither one of them speaking a word, but the quietness was somehow... Relaxing to Loki, the peace and quiet was the perfect medication for his nerves, and he felt that he had nearly returned to his more tamer self. Something black and white jumped onto Loki's lap, causing him to jump in surprise. Jane tutted and leant over to retrieve the cat from Loki.

"I'm sorry, he always does this to visitors, here I'll get him off for y-"

Loki raised his hand to stop Jane from getting any closer.

"No, it's fine, I've grown to be quite fond of these creatures whilst I have been on Midgard, they offer me comfort when nothing else does." 

He started to stroke the black and white cat, which purred with enjoyment. Jane wearily sat back down in her chair and silently watched. A small smile ghosted across Loki's face as he scratched behind its ears, causing the car to stretch and purr even louder. 

"What's his name?" Loki asked, looking at the cat.

Jane froze.

"Hi-his name?" 

Loki nodded, glancing up to Jane before returning his attention to the cat. Jane bit her lip anxiously and cupped her right hand in her left, clearing her throat.

"Vali."

Jane felt herself become overwhelmed with guilt. She knew that it was the name of one of Loki's sons, which was honestly why she called him that, she had rescued Vali just after the New Mexico attack and her hatred at the time was still strong for Loki.

Loki's hand stopped mid-stroke, eyes staring into nowhere as buried memories were brought to the front of his mind, so painfully fresh as if they were only from yesterday. When Vali and Narvi were born, the agonising 16 hour labour Loki had endured to bring them into the world, when they first opened their eyes, when they had first called him Papa, when... When Vali was turned into a bloodthirsty wolf by the Aesir and had ripped Narvi to shreds...when he had held Narvi tight to his chest as he gasped his final breath... When Narvi's intestines were used as Loki's binds when he was bound to a rock by Odin...Loki blocked out any further thoughts and forced the tear prickling his eyes to stay put. He looked up at Jane, who was blushing with regret and embarrassment. 

"It's a nice name." He said simply.

Jane bowed her head in shame only to find Loki's cold hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him.

"It suits him." 

She weakly nodded her head and lowered her gaze to the wooden table. She glanced at the clock. It was 2:30 am, and she had work the following day. She stood up from the table for the fourth time that morning, and quietly stated.

"I'm going to go up and get the spare bed made up for you, I'm sure he'll keep you company for the time being." 

She looked at Vali before hastily making her way upstairs.

"Jane?" Loki said, awaiting her response.

Jane stopped halfway and looked back at him. Loki gave her a weak smile.

"Thank you."

Jane was taken back at Loki's manners, and smiled back uncertainly at him. She didn't deserve it.

"You're welcome Loki." 

She turned back to face the stairs, her eyebrows arched in confusion and guilt. She continued up the stairs. Loki watched her until she disappeared before allowing the single tear to roll down his cheek and onto Vali.


	3. Fate Is Cruel

~~~1 month later~~~

Loki ran to the toilet to throw up for the third time that morning. After retching up the last remains of his breakfast, he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and fell back onto his knees, panting. His arms were trembling along with the rest of his body. His throat burned from the acidity and his mouth was sour.

"No, please, I don't need this now, not now..." He whispered between breaths, his voice echoing around the bowl.

Shakily, he stood up from the position he had adopted over the toilet and grabbed the sink for support, still staring at the remnants of his stomach that lay in the U-bend. He pressed down the handle, glad to see it go. His mind was racing with panic and fear. 

Loki hoped that he was wrong, that the thought circling around his head was an absurd panic-driven idea, but why else would he be experiencing dizziness and nausea? Why was he throwing up as soon as he had swallowed any food? Why had his genitals not changed back to their male form? All of his symptoms pointed towards exactly what Loki was dreading. This could not be happening to him, not when he was playing such a risky game with powerful and dangerous beings. He was walking on thin enough ice as it was. Just to confirm his theory, he would have to get ahold of one of those objects that female Midgardians sometimes used, Midgardians had a solution for everything. Yes, he would have to get one, it would at least tell him the truth. He was brought back to reality by the soft knocking on his bedroom door. He skipped across the floor and opened the door to find a worried Jane waiting patiently in the hallway. Loki leant into the hallway.

"Are you ok Loki? You've been running upstairs all morning an-and I heard retching? Are you sick?" She asked, looking up at Loki with concern. 

Ever since Jane had found out that Loki had been living in the streets, she had insisted on him staying with her, allowing him to occupy the spare bedroom. At first, they rarely held a conversation, awkward greetings in the corridor were the most they would talk to each other for days but eventually, they began to ask each other how they were, how their day was until they became comfortable with one another. In some way, although Loki refused to admit it, they had become good friends over the past month.

Loki nodded slightly, still panting, and blinked slowly.

"I'm adequate, I just can't seem to be able to stomach food of any sorts this morning, must be something I ate yesterday." He lied, hoping his so-called 'silver-tongue' would convince Jane that he was telling the truth.

"Oh, I'm sorry, do you want anything? Painkillers? Water?" She asked, obviously worried for Loki's health.

Loki shook his head and smiled gratefully at her. Vali sauntered into his room and jumped on the bed, awaiting his morning stroke.

"No-no I'm fine, thank you, I'll be fine."

"O-Ok, I'll be downstairs, and if you need anything, just shout will you?"

Loki nodded. She smiled before waving goodbye and heading down the stairs. He watched her until she had gone before slumping himself against the door. He wiped off the beads of sweat from his forehead, hoping that Jane hadn't noticed them.

If she had knowledge about half the things I have done, or plan to do, I'm sure she wouldn't be this kind to me... Loki thought to himself as he stood up straight again.

He stretched until he heard the satisfying click of his bones sliding back into their sockets and let out a yawn. Walking back into his room, he glanced at the clock on his bedside table. 8 a.m. He looked down to his pyjama top, at the small chunks of sick attached down the front. 

That'll have to go... He thought as he pulled off the top and bottoms.

After he had debated between two tops and then picking the paler one, Loki put on a pair of jeans ( as well as the shirt ) and grabbed his coat from beside the eager Vali stretching out his legs. Loki looked at him sternly.

"I don't have time presently Vali, perhaps later..." He said.

He put his coat on and patted the pocket, making sure his wallet was there. Grabbing his houndtooth scarf, he waved goodbye to Vali, shut his door behind him and headed downstairs. He marched straight out of the door, ignoring Jane as she questioned where he was going. 

Loki walked down the steps, his steamy breath visible in front of him. He had forgotten it was Winter, he hadn't been out for so long. Icy tendrils crept across Jane's window, creating complex patterns. Frost delicately covered the petals of the flowers outside The door. He didn't need to button his coat up, as he was literally an ice giant, but he felt the need, in some way, it made him feel more protected. Loki glanced up and down the road before he started to walk down the street.

On the way to the Pharmacist's, Loki passed a homeless man lying on a filthy blanket holding up a tatty cardboard sign. Scrawled in capitals on the front were the words: SPARE SOME CHANGE. The man looked to be about 50, with his wrinkled face and grey hair. His nails were yellow from tobacco and dirt was piled up underneath them. The sign shook from his unsteady hands. The fingerless gloves were doing nothing to protect his hands from the cold. He looked up at Loki expectantly with bloodshot eyes. Loki returned his gaze as he felt his hand slowly close around his leather wallet. He paused, and hastily retracted his hand from his pocket. The man narrowed his eyes accusingly. Loki roughly turned up the collar of his coat and continued briskly down the street, feeling the man's stare burn into his back. Loki couldn't believe that he had nearly given up his precious money to a worthless beggar.

"Staying in Midgard is changing me..." He murmured to himself, shaking his head. 

Eventually, Loki reached the Pharmacist with relief of not running into anymore of the homeless society. He gave his coat a quick wipe down before walking through the automatic doors, and heading towards the aisles. After nearly 10 minutes of scouring every other aisle, he finally came to the one containing the tests and picked up the cheapest box from the shelf, not bothering to to read the back. Strangely enough, another man was searching for the same thing as him. He wore a long navy overcoat with a blue scarf tucked neatly into the opening. Thick brown curls held captive the snow he had encountered before entering the shop. He was absently biting the top of his lip as he scanned the row of goods, looking to find the cheapest one. 

"This is the least costly, if that's what you were looking for." Loki said, addressing the man.

The man looked at Loki, embarrassed about his situation. He reached over and took one and pretended to thoughtfully read the back of it before placing it in his basket.

"Thank you." He murmured, he was foreign to America, his accent closer to that of an Asgardian one, sparking Loki's interest in him.

"May I ask, from what country do you originate?" Loki inquired.

One of the many lessons he had learnt from Jane was to initiate in what she called 'small talk', a skill learnt by Midgardians as a form of socialising when they encounter a stranger. The man turned to face Loki.

"England, or to be more specific, London, before I came here." He answered in his deep voice. 

Loki heard a slight edge to his words, anger perhaps.

"Why are you here?" Loki asked, becoming more intrigued about this man's story.

"I don't know, perhaps it's due to The fact that my darling brother thought it to be a good idea to move me and my colleague out here so that I could focus on a case I solved three months ago whilst sitting in my chair back in my apartment on Baker street enjoying a cup of tea and family life. Or maybe I just came out here for a permanent vacation on behalf of my brother dearest." He replied snidely, staring at Loki intently, it was obvious he had struck a nerve.

The man turned his right side more towards Loki and cocked his head slightly. Loki took this as a hostile act, and in turn straightened himself. He was taller than this Midgardian, and he would use that to his advantage.

"But at least I know why you're here. From the way you glared at the families, especially the fathers or old men, you recently were kicked out by your parents, or your father to be precise, and had nowhere to go, Your brother was quite frankly relieved at you leaving, seeing as though you nearly tried to kill him and his girlfriend with whom you are staying with at this present moment because she was the only place you could go to be safe, but safe from what? Easy, judging from the fading bruises on your wrists and on your neck you were forcefully restrained by someone with quite a lot of strength, but if it were a confrontation, there would be more than bruises to your wrists and neck, you would also sustain at least 2 bruises on your cheek from where the attacker had tried to punch you, but you lack them, so I have to rule it down to two things; either the attacker was someone who was unable to really hurt you, a loved one perhaps, or you were raped by a stranger in search of a quickie. The latter seems more realistic, seeing as though your parents and brother have no desire to go after you. And for some reason or another, you find yourself in the position to be able to become pregnant. Which brings you here, to this aisle, to this row in search of what you and I both need due to the differing situations we have been thrown into." He held out his gloved hand, unfazed by the amount of information he had just released out loud in the middle of a shop.

"Holmes, Sherlock Holmes." He simply stated.

Loki looked at the hand, debating as to whether he should strangle the man for suddenly delving into his personal life or to shake his hand. He firmly grasped Holmes' hand, making him wince slightly with the strength. 

"I am Loki, son of Laufey." He cooly said, releasing his grip from Holmes' hand. 

Holmes subtly rubbed it with the other to ease the throbbing.

"Tell me, Holmes, you know why I'm here, but I am yet to hear your story, and it only seems fair, as you did explain mine in the middle of an apothecary." Loki said, staring at Holmes, who shuffled awkwardly on his feet.

"Long story short; A man decided to test whether a male could successfully carry a child to term or not, and I was his guinea pig. And it was a success, so now I have two children. But I began to experience sickness in the morning and a sudden surge of appetite again, so here I am, trying to see whether his experiment has still got a hold of me." He said, holding up the box in his basket.

"Well, good luck." Loki said, walking past him and towards the till. 

"To you too!" Holmes mumbled after him.

Loki arrived at the counter and placed it in front of the employee who was tapping a pen repetitively on the white surface. He looked up and spotted Loki making his way towards him and brightened up, a fake smile plastered on his large face.

'This man looks like a swine ready for slaughter' Loki thought to himself as he eyed up the fat man that stood before him. 

Loki placed the item on the counter and waited for the man to scan it, drumming his fingers. As the employee was scanning the item, he let out a chuckle indicated for Loki to pick up on. Loki cocked his head enquiringly and the man looked up at him with a grin.

"You trying for a kid?" He asked, pointing to the sales sign that showed the cost.

Loki laughed lightly as he took out his wallet and counted out the money on the counter. Certain that he had gotten the right amount, he returned the wallet to its cosy home.

"Yeah, my, er, my lady thinks she might be eatin' for two, so she sent out her man to get the, uh, fate decider!" Loki chuckled, impersonating a New York accent. 

He handed the money over to the man who counted it up before placing it in the till. The employee leant over the counter and lowered his voice.

"You'll regret it."

Loki stared at him in disbelief and frowned.

"What?"

"Kids." The man explained, straightening up. "they are living nightmares, ever since the first one was born, I regretted not using rubber!" He placed the test in a bag, unable to see Loki's face quickly grow wild with fury.

Without warning, Loki grabbed his red tie and pulled him over the counter so that they were face to face with each other, Loki's a sea of rage. His features contorted with anger, and his lips pulled back into a feral snarl as he gritted his teeth. His eyes became pits of fire.

"You regret having children?" Loki hissed in his natural accent. 

He watched with delight as his face deepened in colour as he choked from the force Loki was exerting. Loki yanked on the tie, causing the man to squeal like the pig he was.

"ANSWER ME MIDGARDIAN!" Loki shouted, to which the man quickly shook his head, obviously lying to save himself. 

Loki laughed bitterly at his petty attempt to save his own skin and glowered at him.

"Have you ever had the torment of your child being ripped from your embrace as soon as they had entered the cruel world? Have you ever heard their distressed screams as they are taken away from their mother without even feeling their touch, their comforting skin? To have your children, the ones you have carried within you, taken away because of what others might think? I don't think you do, in fact, I know you haven't. The one thing you cannot seem to get through that thick skull is the fact that you have been given the chance to keep your children instead of losing them, because you don't understand grief until you have experienced that!" Loki growled." So don't ever say that children are nightmares, because you can't even begin to dream what I have seen and been through." Loki spat, staring into the man's wide eyes. 

He released him with a push before grabbing his bag and storming out of the door, his eyes welling up. He didn't see Holmes stare at him curiously as he left.

Whilst on the way back to the house, Loki tucked the bag into his inside pocket, away from Jane's prying eyes. He didn't bother to look at the homeless man as he threw his change on the ground for the man to scramble for. It took Loki half the time it took getting there to get back home, due to his angered pace, and soon he found himself back at the green door quicker than he expected. Angrily, he patted down his pockets and released a sigh of frustration when he remembered that he had left his keys on his bedside table. He bent down and moved the welcome mat to find the spare key to the front door. Loki opened the door with a relieved sigh and strode into the kitchen to find a yellow post-it note on the table with a black pen beside it. 

HAVE GONE GROCERY SHOPPING, HOPE YOU ARE FEELING BETTER, JANE was written across it in slanted writing. 

Tutting, Loki screwed it up and put it in the bin, it had fulfilled its purpose to him and to Jane.

"At least that's one less obstacle to worry about..." He mumbled as he trudged up the stairs, disobeying Jane's rule about no shoes upstairs. 

Walking down the corridor seemed to take forever and Loki's feet felt like stone, his heavy footsteps echoing across the wooden floor. Inch by inch, his door became closer and closer to him until he found himself hovering outside his room. His slender fingers brushed the door softly. He tutted at himself angrily and slammed open the door to find Vali still lying in the same spot he had left him about 2 hours ago, still waiting for his stroke. Loki tore off his coat and hung it up, removing the bag from the inside pocket and staring at it with uneasiness in his green eyes. He yanked his scarf off and threw it on the cabinet beside him with his back to Vali. He turned and walked past Vali into the bathroom before shutting the door. Sensing that he still wasn't going to get his morning stroke, Vali leapt off of the bed with a disgruntled growl and skipped out of the room, leaving Loki alone.

Taking the test out of the bag, Loki sat down on the toilet seat and read aloud the instructions to himself.

"Morning-urination is highly recommended but not necessary... Urinate onto stick provided... 20 minutes for results to show... Two lines means positive, one line is negative..." He mumbled, seemed easy enough, he just had to drink until he felt the urge to urinate.

3 glasses of water later and Loki was back in the bathroom. He leant into his bedroom and took note of the time, 10:30 am. When he had urinated on the stick, he placed it gently on the side of the sink and sat impatiently on the toilet for the 20 minutes to pass. After what seemed like hours, Loki looked at the alarm clock by his bed, the minute hand pointing towards the bold 10 on the face and sighed, shutting his eyes. This was the point of no return, when he would truly know whether he was pregnant or not. Eyes still held shut, he picked up the test and brought it up to eye level. Loki took in deep breaths as he counted down in his head. Bile rose in the back of his throat and caused him to gulp. His heart was beating so hard it felt like it would burst through his chest. The countdown now reached single figures as he closed in on 0. 

3...2...1...open.

Loki felt himself go numb. His mouth dried up and he couldn't breathe. His heart had now stopped, motionless in his still chest. He barely registered the dull clattering of the test on the tile floor as it slipped through his hands.

Two lines.


	4. The Consequences Of Greed

He was pregnant, He had a life growing inside of him. A life now threatened by his obsession with power, his greed. Air was pumped in and out of his lungs as he started to hyperventilate. His eyes widened and his head became light as his vision began to swim. A high pitched noise drilled into his head as the room grew fuzzy. The white porcelain now seemed so bright and Loki's eyes ached whenever he moved them. Frantically, he stumbled out of the bathroom blindly, unable to see where he was going. His foot connected with the other and he fell down, his head colliding with the bed frame. Black spots speckled his vision and his head felt like it was splitting into two. Subconsciously, he raised his hand to the spot on his head that had been hit by the frame and gently rubbed it. He brought his hand down again to find his fingers covered in blood. He dropped his hand to his side and shut his eyes, taking deep breaths. His heart rate slowed down and gradually, his vision became clearer, the noise had now been reduced to a faint rustle, like wind through leaves. His head still ached where he had split his skin.

I need to get out of here, I need to go to the Chitauri... Loki thought.

The safest place for him, for his child, was right in the middle of danger itself. Yes, he might be tortured, but it would save him from a worse fate if he pulled out. It would do no harm to the child his torture as Loki was strong, he was a Jötun, a powerful race. The Chitauri wouldn't notice, not if he concealed the child. Loki hovered his hand in front of his stomach with his fingers stretched out. He lowered his head and started to quietly recite the enchantment. Over the years, Loki had used it many times to hide his pregnancies, sometimes his magic automatically did it for him, he only found out about Hel when his waters had broken, and the enchantment had failed. But Loki wasn't going to take the chance, not with the risks. An invisible weight fell onto his stomach, signalling that the enchantment had worked. The only way of reaching the Chitauri's world was by teleportation, seeing as the Bifrost was destroyed by Thor. Sighing, Loki pulled himself up so his back was fully propped against the bed and held out his arm to the side. His fingers closed around cold metal as the sceptre appeared in his hand, the tessaract's blue energy pulsing. He felt its power flow into him and he quickly stood up. 

Don't let it control you...

Loki grabbed his coat and was halfway through the door when he stopped. He walked back into the bathroom and picked up the test and the packaging. He set them alight in his hand using his magic, crushing the burning embers in his palm. 

Good riddance...

He strode out of the door, shutting it for the last time and glided down the stairs. 

I can't just leave Jane without saying anything...

Loki's eyes darted around the room before resting on the waste bin beside the fridge. Jane's note. He swiped the note from the bin and turned it over, taking the pen from the table. Hastily, he wrote on it: SORRY. With a twist of his hand, a spell was laced into the note, a memory spell that would erase any memories Jane had of his stay with her. It was for the best, both for him and her in case the Chitauri needed leverage to ensure that he continued with the plans. He didn't want to put her in harm's way, after all, he had grown quite affectionate for her. He stood and stared into nowhere. He was reminiscing about all of the memories that would have to be forgotten about, the few happy memories he had among an infinity of dark ones. Vali leapt onto the table and stared curiously at Loki's face, placing his paw onto Loki's hand. Gently, Loki stroked his head and whispered goodbye. He gave one final look of the house he had called home for a while and walked out of the green door with 21 in brass at the front, setting a memory spell on himself as he did so.


	5. Confrontations

~~After the attack~~

 

Unable to back out of the arrangement, Loki had no choice but to carry out the attack as planned. After the plan had failed, He had allowed himself to be captured by the Avengers, to avoid any further harm to himself and thus the child growing steadily inside of him. He was fortunate enough to be able to continue the pregnancy after the Hulk had pounded him into the ground, it would have surely caused any Asgardian to miscarry, but then again, he was no Asgardian, he was a Jötun. 

Loki was sitting cross legged in the middle of his cell when Thor's harsh knocking interrupted him from his thoughts. He looked up to find him standing at the glass with his hammer by his side. His knuckles were white from grasping the handle, blue eyes darting around the chute Loki was suspended in. Loki smiled thinly at him.

"After all this time, you finally come to see me. Come to gloat?" Loki inquired, standing up.

Thor glared at Loki, nostrils flaring. He sighed frustratedly and bit the inside of his cheek, as if to hold back his words. He weighed his hammer in his hand, almost threateningly. Loki glanced at it curiously, what had he done? 

"How far along are you?" He rumbled, still staring straight at Loki.

Loki was taken aback.

Does he know?

Surely, his oafish brother wasn't talking about his pregnancy, after all, this was a man who once donned a dress to get his hammer back from a giant. Loki laughed hoarsely and started to walk up to Thor, his hands behind his back.

"I have no idea what you'r-"

"Don't play games with me Loki." Thor warned, his grip tightening even more on the handle. "You and I both know that you are expecting, so don't try to convince me otherwise, the Midgardians may be oblivious, but I am more knowing about you and your past, so don't deny it."

Loki shook his head in mock disbelief and chuckled lightly. Thick oaf...

"Thor, I have nothing to hide look!" Loki lifted up his grey top to reveal his flat stomach. He looked back to Thor impatiently. "If I were carrying a child, wouldn't I have started to show it by now?" He asked.

He had been locked up at S.H.I.E.L.D's airborne headquarters for nearly 4 months now, but in truth, Loki was much further along than four months. He estimated that he was a month along when he first found out, and that was 3 months before the attack was put into action, so Loki was roughly about 8 months pregnant, time was running out for him.

Thor's breathing had grown deep with anger and his eyes narrowed. He slammed his fist against the glass.

"Do you mistake me for a dim-wit, Loki?"

I don't mistake it, I know it...Loki wanted to say, but he held his tongue wisely. He stared at Thor.

"I know that you are capable of concealing a growing child in your womb. you have done it many times in the past." Thor said.

His fist became a palm as his gaze softened. Loki scowled, he had seen him use this trick on Frigga and the maidens whenever he wanted something, but it wouldn't work on him.

"Do you recall when you came running to me, swollen with child, and you were afraid, because you had no idea you were pregnant?" 

Loki's eyes flickered briefly in remembrance of Hel's sudden arrival. He clenched his jaw and leant in, glaring at Thor.

"I remember you sowing my mouth shut to stop my screams as the child tried to make its way into the world." Loki hissed, his fists trembling by his sides. 

"Loki, I-" 

"I.am.not.pregnant." Loki spat.

He swiftly turned his back on Thor and walked over to his bed, signalling the end of their brief conversation. He heard Thor take a sharp breath and expected to hear the clunk of his hammer against the glass, but it did not come. Instead, Thor's hand slipped from the glass back to his side. He shook his head whilst blinking, as if he was coming out of a trance.

"I- I'm sorry Loki, I-I don't know what came over me to accuse you of such a thing. Please forgive me for my stupidity." Thor pleaded.

Loki turned his head to the right with his back still facing Thor.

"I always forgive your stupidity." He growled.

He waited until the stomping of Thor's heavy feet was gone before he allowed his fear to show. He had been so close to discovering his secret, and if Thor was able to find that out, Loki dreaded to think who could know. He had to get out of there, but how? If he tried to break out the cell, he would automatically be dropped from 15000 feet onto hard ground, which would be bad both for him and the child. He looked around for any hidden doors or loose ceiling tiles he could use as an escape route. Anything that wouldn't trigger the emergency system that would cause him to plummet to his death, which wouldn't be good for him or the child. Much to his disappointment there was nothing. If he had his sceptre, he could easily get out, but he had long lost it to the S.H.I.E.L.D research centre on the ground. He had to stay put. As soon as the plan failed, the Chitauri had abandoned him, left him imprisoned in this cell, but there was nothing he could do about it now, he just had to live with it. He placed a slender hand on his stomach and felt the child slowly stir. Defeated, he fell onto the stiff mattress and rested upright against the curve of the wall.

Thor walked into Stark's lab and found the philanthropist busy improving plans for his new tower he was building. After Banner had left the headquarters, Stark quickly claimed the lab and all of the equipment inside it for himself ( for research, he said). He had also added more screens to work on, the room was like a maze of glass. He had just moved in, cardboard boxes occupied the counters around the room, each one labeled with scientific words Thor didn't understand. He rested a hand firmly on Stark's shoulder, causing him to whip around. He blinked in surprise at seeing Thor in his lab, of which was a rare occasion.

"Hi Thor...?" He said, arching an eyebrow. 

"Hello Stark... I was wondering, could you do me a favour?" He asked Stark.

"Sure, what can I do for you Big guy?" Stark asked, lightly patting Thor's tense arm, and frowning wondrously at its stiffness.

Thor released his grip of Stark's shoulder and lowered his gaze in thought, trying to communicate his request as best as he could.

"Is there anyway you can monitor Loki's... wellbeing?" He asked, unable to think of the right word.

Stark frowned and picked up the tablet resting on the desk beside him. 

"What, do you mean monitor his stasis? His condition, that sorta thing?" He asked, trying to understand what Thor was requesting.

Annoyed, Thor nodded his head. All of these Midgardian terms were confusing and useless to him. Stark nodded his head in understanding and swiped away the plans from the main screen. He started to type furiously on his tablet, lines of code appearing on the screen. 

"I can do better than that." Stark said, swiping away his blueprints to a screen at the back. 

He started to type furiously on the tablet in his hands. He turned his head slightly towards Thor, eyes still looking at the screen.

"I can design a nanobot that sticks into the lining of his stomach so we can track his stasis, you know, things like pain levels, the condition of his organs, hormone levels. Basically, if he gets a scratch on his neck, we'll know about it. I'll also hack into the camera in his cell, nobody will notice, half the time they're just playing solitaire on their computers..." He explained to Thor, who just nodded his head in mock understanding.

"Let's see, I'll need to design it so it can stick in the lining for a good few months. It'll also need to be sturdy enough so if he is sick or anything like that, it'll stay in the lining, but small enough so he doesn't notice it... Might have to bribe the agent delivering his food to slip it in... Easy enough... But wait." He said, fully turning himself to face Thor.

"Why do you need this again?" He asked.

He had been so keen to help Thor that he hadn't been given a reason in the first place. Thor took in a deep breath, hoping that Stark wouldn't make a scene. He took a step towards Stark to minimise the distance he had to talk over.

"I... I have a feeling that my brother is expecting." He said in a hushed tone.

Stark shut his eyes with his brows lifted. He reopened them with his brow furrowed in confusion.

"What?" 

Thor tutted, not wanting to repeat himself in case of an eavesdropper. He took another step closer and repeated himself quietly.

"I have a feeling that my brother, Loki, is carrying a child within him." 

Stark's mouth opened and closed in shock, for once he found himself unable to speak. He leant in closer to Thor so that their noses were nearly touching, his face angry.

"Do you not understand basic anatomy, or is that another thing you Asgardians haven't grasped yet Thor?" He hissed in a raised tone.

Thor grabbed him and pulled him into a corner, frowning.

"He has given birth before on many occasions." 

Stark looked around in disbelief.

"Wh-what do you mean, he has given birth before? This is normal for you Asgardians, huh? God, remind me to never get wasted at one of your parties! And I mean, I told him to get fucked but I didn't mean it literally!" He exclaimed, throwing his arms around.

"Stark! Loki is not like me or you. He is a Jötun, Ice giant, their anatomy is unknown to us but all I know is Loki is one of them, so perhaps the men in the Jötun society can produce young. . I don't know how he is expecting again, but that's not the point, I just want to make sure that I am correct, will you help me?" He asked sternly.

Stark inhaled deeply as if he were debating whether to help or not. Then, he nodded his head, after all, he wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of a Norse God now, would he? Even more so, a Norse God whose brother is potentially pregnant. 

"And if you tell anyone about this, I mean ANYONE, you will have to answer to me, got it?" He growled, clenching his fist. 

Stark glanced at his fist before laughing nervously and walking back to the screen.

"Yeah, sure Thor." He said, continuing to type up the code.

Thor was relieved, his temper had died down and his muscles relaxed.

"It'll take me a couple of days to find out whether he is.... You know." Stark said to Thor, shrugging.

Thor nodded and walked out of the room, not bothering to thank Stark for his help.

"God that guy needs to calm down, maybe watch some Game of Thrones to make him feel at home or somethin'" Stark muttered to himself.

He was still getting over the fact that a man could successfully carry a living child to term, yes he was technically a different species of man, but Stark had never come across this before, other than the sea horses he saw occasionally on the discovery channel. And why was he doing this, he created self-sustainable power, not monitors for pregnant adopted brothers of Norse gods sake! But, he might be able to gain something from it...

Honestly, it would only take Stark a day to find out the results, but he wanted to give Thor a few days to calm down before he told him, the guy looked like he could get an aneurism at any moment, and the way that vein pulsated in his arm...


	6. Good News....

~~ a few days later ~~

Thor walked back into the lab to meet Stark, of whom had sent him an urgent message. He was staring at the information on his tablet, apparently amazed (Pepper had always told him he should look into acting lessons,maybe he should listen to her more often). He shook his head in mock disbelief.

"I-I don't believe it, it's astounding, look!" He said, handing the tablet over to Thor, who pretended to look at it thoughtfully, his hand strategically placed over his mouth as if he was thinking. He made a few murmurs of agreement and gestures with his hand toward the screen, glancing every second or so to see if he was fooling Stark, who just stood there with his arms folded. Damn Midgardian technology... Although Asgard had harnessed what was called magic here, the work the Midgardians could do with metal was unrivalled.

"You don't know what it means, do you?" He asked smugly, watching Thor shake his head in embarrassment. Stark swiped the tablet from Thor's hand and leant back against the counter, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"You're going to be an Uncle."


	7. The Manipulation Of Maternal Instinct

The days were closing in on Loki's due date, he could sense it. A body clock slowly counting down to zero within him, each hour made Loki more tense. He would regularly pace the width of his cell, deep in thought. Rarely would anyone visit him, bar the occasional silent agent who would deliver his daily meals of square meat and other unknown substances. He hardly touched it. His back was aching which sent him into a foul mood, not that there was anyone around to take it out on. It resided in the lower part of his spine, where he would apply pressure in hopes of elevating the ache. It didn't provide much relief. 

Thor had not come back to visit him since the confrontation, and that somewhat relieved Loki, but in the back of his mind, paranoid thoughts dwelled on whether he still believed he was pregnant. He was, in effect, a sitting duck.

 

Loki was pacing back and forth when he noticed Stark making his way up to the cell, eyes fixed on the tablet perched on his fingertips. He didn't bother to look up at Loki as he stood in silence at the glass, tapping his tablet. Loki watched him with curiosity as he slowly walked into the middle of the room, his bare feet hardly making a sound on the metal floor. He knew full well that Stark wanted his attention, and he gave it to him. That was the price, attention for whatever Stark was building up the tension for.

Loki didn't like this man who hid himself in a body of iron, it portrayed weakness and cowardice. His arrogant view on life and deluded impression that everything revolved around him made Loki irratated. This was a prime example of a Midgarduan that needed to be saved from freedom. Loki felt the corner of his top lip pull up ever so slightly in contempt. He waited for Stark to finish basking in his attention.

After a few minutes of silence, Stark finally opened his mouth.

"Well, congratulations Mr... Laufeyson?" He looked at his tablet with quizzical look playing on his eyebrows, "It's a girl." He said, raising his head and looking at Loki with no emotion. Loki remained in the middle of the room, an eyebrow arched in confusion not for the information about his child, but about the fact that Stark knew about his pregnancy. He took a step towards the glass and shook his head, pouting."But, you dont seem to be too surprised to learn you're pregnant." He said accusingly.

Loki looked around the empty room, pretending to look for who he was talking to. He looked at Stark innocently.

"Pardon?" 

Stark looked to the side and repeated his words slowly, sounding out each syllable. Slowly, he moved his gaze along until he was staring at Loki.

"You. Are. Preg. Nant." 

Loki scowled at him, how dare he mock him, as if he were a simpleton, he was just a Midgardian, a weak primate compared to Loki. He bit the inside of his lip. So Thor had still suspected him after his confrontation. He had been tricked by his oafish brother, he, the supposed God of Mischief. Loki narrowed his eyes at Stark.

"I don't know where you got this absurd notion from, but I assure you, I am not carrying a child." He said cooly.

"Don't play dumb with me Frosty, I've been monitoring you for weeks, I even have a scan." Stark said.

He swiped a finger across the tablet before holding up a greyscale photo on it against the glass. Unable to help himself, Loki strode up to the perimeter of his cell, his gaze aimed at the ultrasound. What was it?

"What is that supposed to be?" He asked, eyes remaining on the screen.

"That," Stark said, "Is your daughter."

His daughter? That image? That was her? Somehow, Stark had managed to capture his child inside of him. How? His eyes softened and his mouth fell slightly agape at the sight of his child for the first time. He held out his index finger and softly outlined the head of the child. His child. His daughter. Stark watched Loki with disbelief at how quick his behaviour changed so drastically. One second he was a cold, calculating, power-crazed killer, but with a blink of an eye, he changed into a warm, nurturing, expectant mother. He could see Loki's eyes tearing up as he gently smiled at the ultrasound. Without warning, Stark took down the tablet and placed it nimbly back on his fingers, leaving Loki frozen in horror at the realisation that he had just given himself away. Hiding his pride, Stark kept an emotionless face.

"It is the 4th, you are due on the 9th, we need to start making prep-"

"No!" Loki shouted and he slammed his palm against the window in desperation. 

He quickly withdrew it, leaving a line of condensation from where it had briefly made contact. He regained his composition and drew himself to his full height, glaring down his slender nose at Stark. His face had returned to the steely mask it usually was. Every muscle in his body was tense.

"I do not wish for anyone to know about this. There will be no preparations, I shall do it alone." He declared.

Stark simply shrugged his shoulders. He held the tablet loosely at his side.

"If that's your birth plan..." He said.

He turned and tapped down the stairs towards the exit. He was halfway down when he turned on his heels and walked backwards to face Loki.

"Great job by the way, you're hardly showing." He continued, twirling back round to face down the pathway before leaving Loki on his own.

 

Stark walked into his lab and past the anxious Thor who was sitting on one of the stools, his hands clamped down on the surface. Thor's back straightened at the appearance of him, eager to hear what he had to say. Stark glanced at the metal of the chair that had moulded around Thor's iron grip and widened his eyes before hastily averting his gaze to the body that displayed Loki's stasis on his board. The lower back was flaring pink with mild pain.

"What did he say?" Thor asked, hammer grasped tightly in his hand. 

"At first he denied it, but it became clear he was lying when I showed him the scan." He muttered, focusing on the board.

"Scan? What scan?"

"The scan I got from the Internet, great place you know. It has videos of cats and funny songs, you should try it sometime." Stark replied casually.

"Stark, I don't understand. What is the means of the word 'scan?" He asked, frowning.

"Oh well, it's like a super realistic image of the baby inside of him." 

"How did you obtain this image without him knowing?" 

"Well, uh, that's simple," Stark said, raising his eyes to the ceiling, these Asgards were so native sometimes.... "I got an image, another image of another baby, with the mystical help of Google, the all-seeing, all-knowing."

Thor frowned and slowly stood up from the stool, confused. 

"You tricked him?" He asked, taking a step towards 

Stark turned around on his feet, placing his tablet on a nearby counter as he did so. Eureka.

"Yeah."

Thor glared at him with anger. Stark noticed this and cocked his head, frowning.

"You may have been trying to help, but nobody manipulates my brother into confessing a personal secret. He has enough trust issues as it is."

Stark's face clouded and he stiffened, placing his arms back defensively.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, nobody is allowed to manipulate my brothers maternal instincts to their advantage." He replied, stepping towards Stark.

Stark glared at him, his little power stance wouldn't make him go running with his tail inbetween his legs. He sucked his teeth and held out his arms in mock submission. 

"What else would you have me do, huh? I mean, I had to give him a little push, or else he would never have cracked. And anyway, it wasn't like I was completely lying, he is having a girl and he is due on the NINTH, which is only in FIVE days may I remind you." He said through gritted teeth, his fist clenched.

"But there must have been other less invasive ways of retrieving his confession? He surely would've had to tell us sometime?" Thor said, his voice rising.

Stark laughed, "Uh, I don't think so Thor, not by a long shot, I'm sure he would have only told us when he was rolling around naked and moaning."

Thor's brotherly compassion kicked in.

"Do not speak of my brother in that way. He is a prince of Asgard, treat him with respect!" He shouted.

"And I am a citizen of America, treat ME with respect!" Stark shot back.

They stared at each other for a while, until Thor broke the glare by collapsing back onto the mutilated stool. He didn't have the patience for childish games like Stark did. He wiped his face and sighed.

"So I'm going to have a niece?"

Stark arched his eyebrow.

"Are you happy with that? Or would the prince have preferred a nephew instead?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all, if you have somehow stumbled onto my little story here, please leave a comment about what you think of it. Thank you :)


	8. Trust Issues

Loki lay with his hands resting on his bare stomach with his fingers brushing the waistline of his trousers. The grey shirt was pulled up to below his chest, revealing his slim torso that betrayed the presence of the nearly fully developed child inside of him. By now, he should be heavily swollen, with stretch marks and breasts full with milk. Luckily, his enchantment held firm. He had begun to hate the growing babe. He watched his stomach with disgust, more often than not, the child was restless and refused to give him any peace, this time was no different. At some points Loki thought that he could see his stomach lift slightly from the force of the child. Each movement sickened Loki to his core, reminding him of the approaching birth.

Whatever she is. She must be strong...

She quietened down for a minute, but not long enough for Loki to rest. It seemed that she was incapable of sleeping, that or she was trying her damned best to make Loki's life as uncomfortable as possible. He felt that it was the latter. Frustration and dread were his two main emotions, sometimes boredom joined in with them. 

The little wisp animals he could conjure had quickly lost their entertainment, their dancing on his fingertips became a mockery of his imprisonment, whilst they twirled and flew with freedom over his hands. The translucent stags and wolves acted together in harmony, chasing one another inbetween his fingers and leaving blue trails of magic in their wake. He had swiped them away after half an hour. They reminded him too much of Asgard, where he had first learnt how to make them from his mother, Frigga. He had spent hours under her patient supervision trying to conjure a lizard to dart across his palm. Each time he tried, the lizard always ended up either deformed or entirely separated, at one point, the lizard's head had ended up perched on his finger whilst the rest of the body scrambled aimlessly around his wrist. It was after a day of trying and failing that he finally managed to summon an intact lizard to sit and stare up at him curiously. He had been so proud of his achievement, that he had ran to his father's war room to show him, only to be ushered away with the promise that Odin would watch later. He, of course, never did.

Neither Stark or Thor had visited him. Agitation had began to seep into Loki's mind, who knew what they were doing? They had to have plans. They were going to do something to him, he knew it. To him or the child, and the on,y way of reaching the child was through him, literally. Loki had reasons for having trust issues, after all, he had only been told a few years ago that he was adopted purely as a bargaining pawn in the dispute of the Jötuns and Asgardians, a role Thor had made him incapable of becoming when he stormed Jötunheim as a mark against Odin.

Not to mention the time when Thor had sewed his lips together in an attempt to make Loki silent whilst he was delivering Hel in the dead of night, in a reckless attempt to make themselves unknown to the guards patrolling. It did it's job, and Loki's wails were muffled enough for them to remain hidden. Tears had streamed down his face and combined with the blood pouring from his mouth, all the while contractions had wracked his body. Loki thrashed as Thor gripped him with one hand holding the thread and needle, the thin metal shone menacingly in the lamplight. Because of Loki's frantic jolting, the first stitches had to be redone after Thor had taken the precaution of tying Loki's hands to the chair along with his bare legs pulled apart for the arrival of the child. The rope cut deep into his ankles and wrists which caused blisters to spring up. Loki remained in this agonising position for the entire birth, and each time he instinctively opened his mouth to scream, a wave of white hot pain crashed through his lips. Thor had done the stitches nice and tight, so when it came to taking them out, it hurt even worse than when he had put them in. His skin had tried to heal over the thread due to Loki's magic, and laced itself inbetween the strands, effectively taking in the thread as a part of him. He had almost blacked out from the agony, but Thor kept him conscious throughout it with a flame below his finger. To avoid Loki entering a permanent sleep, he had said.

Loki's hand instinctively lingered around his the outline of his lips. He could almost feel the rough knotted thread and the raw, upturned flesh surrounding and infiltrating it. His hatred flared up. The child increased her assault on Loki as if in response to his anger.

Nobody had known about this torture except from him and Thor, because if he had spoken a word about it, Loki knew people would find out about Hel. However, Loki's attempt to protect his child had failed when Thor had gone to Odin and explained what had happened, apparently in effort to make the all-father understand. It didn't go that way, and instead of understanding, Odin had ordered that Hel would be banished from Asgard. The babe was gone within the hour, cast off somewhere where Loki would never see her again. He remembered Odin patting Thor on the back with pride at his son, whilst turning his back on Loki, fully aware of what Thor had done to him, and the pain he was in upon losing his child for the cause of Odin's reputation. Until then, Thor was the only person in the entire kingdom that he had placed trust in. Needless to say, afterwards he kept to himself, separated himself from everyone and avoided the remarks and insults that were thrown at him whenever he ventured into the court. Odin had felt it his task to inform the entirety of Asgard about Loki's capability to bear children, and made him even more of a scapegoat than he was already. Since then, Odin had watched Loki, and he had always found out about Loki's pregnancies and births, snatching the child away as soon as they were born. His son, Sleipnir, was kept only to be Odin's warmount, a meaningless position that held no power or respect that a Prince should be given. After all, that was what he was, but Odin had made sure that he was subdued. He had taken away all of Sleipnir's intelligence when he was born and left behind a mere husk of what he was, a simple horse. It broke Loki's heart every time he saw Odin astride him, what should've been a magnificent and godly creature was now only a declaration of power. His bright green eyes, Loki had only seen a fleeting glimpse of, were once bright and contained curiosity, but now were dull and emotionless.

 

Time was quickly running out for him, the months became weeks and he knew that he only had days left before he was due, after all, it was only three days before the 9th. He had kept count since Stark had come in. The child grew tired of its fleshy prison and frequently lashed out at it. Loki hoped that it was just the one, and not two, or even more, although it was apparently almost unheard of in Jötuns, but Loki had given birth to twins once. It drained him of power and what little happiness he had left within him, like a parasite. It had caused so many complications in his life so far without even being in the world. He dreaded to think of the chaos it would wreak onto him once it was in the world. He would have to take care of it himself, after all, he was banished from Asgard, unless he gave her away. But Loki felt a responsibility to look after his own blood, and as frustrated as he felt, he would stand by that, that didn't mean that he had to show any affection towards it Loki glared at his stomach.

"I will never love you." He whispered bitterly to the child. 

It went still.


	9. Shadowed Fears

Loki woke up to find himself surrounded by nothingness. White occupied all of his vision and it stretched as far as he could see. There were no shadows. It was like the world had been swept away, and had become a blank slate. It seemed that the natural laws didn't apply to this place. Confused, he looked down to his arms to discover himself in his Asgardian attire, his green and black robe flowed down to his ankles. He didn't have his helmet, however, but it felt like there was a weight on his head and around his ears. His mind felt hot, and blurry, like it was slowly being cooked.

A loud, grotesque roar from his left startled him, and he snapped his head towards the direction of the sound, or where he thought it came from. He saw nothing, but his instincts were screaming at him to run for his life. Fear bloomed in his chest as he started to run in the opposite direction, his heavy paces echoing loudly on the floor beneath him. The hairs on his neck stood rigid as hot breath poured over it. This creature had been spawned from the depths of his mind, and it was an amalgamation of all of his worst fears.

He could hear his pants circle around him, mocking his terror and deafening him. Although the scenery never changed, he felt the air slice past his ears which signalled his progress. With each stride he felt himself grow heavier, until he couldn't run anymore without becoming out of breath. Why? Normally, he could run for hours without stopping, but something was pressing down on his lungs. He bent over and gripped his knees, trying to regain his breath. The space was quiet with only Loki's harsh breathing filling it. Whatever was chasing him, had seemingly that given up pursuing Loki. His stomach felt large and uncomfortable. He looked down in horror to discover his stomach had swelled to a large mound, and he realised, he was pregnant. 9 months pregnant to be exact, it was as if he had been stripped of his magic, unable to conceal the child, leaving him defenceless and vulnerable. It was what he should naturally look like without his enchantment. He could feel the child lash out at its fleshy home, almost like it was desperate to escape. Loki let out a gasp and turned around on the spot, hoping to catch the glimpse of another person in the nothingness.

"Oh, what a sight." A deep rumbling voice said from behind him.

Loki shot around to meet the voice. It was Thor, he was also clothed in his Asgardian armour, an invisible light shining off of the metal. His large arms were folded and mjollnir was nowhere to be seen. He cast no shadow on the ground. Loki stared at Thor with confusion.

"Look at you, defenceless and weak." Thor spat, Loki flinched at the harshness his usually affectionate brother had taken on. 

Thor'a face scrunched up in hatred.

"Tell me, what sort of Prince of Asgard becomes pregnant? Hmm? But then again, you aren't an Asgardian Prince, are you? No, you're the runt of the Jötun offspring, scum, even they saw the weakness in you when you were but a babe, a dying race, grateful for any contribution to their numbers, and they cast aside a child because he was just too weak. Father was foolish not to let you die on that frozen rock, it would've saved the kingdom from such grief. But, that can't be helped, and now you're here, so pathetic and useless." Thor laughed scornfully.

"Brother, please..." Loki pleaded, his hand subconsciously wrapped around his stomach, the child had become still.

Thor's stature swiftly became hostile as he gritted his teeth. Suddenly, Mjolnir appeared in his hand and he weighed it threateningly. Loki stepped back cautiously. His eyes remained fixed on Mjolnir, knowing full well the pain it could create.

"You really think I thought of you as a brother? As family? I would never call such a failure my brother." Thor hissed, stomping towards the shocked Loki.

He threw Loki to the floor and stood over him, laughing. Loki's back ached with pain and he curled himself into a tight ball, sucking air through his teeth painfully. He suddenly felt his stomach lighten as it shrank back to its slender form. The child had gone. He unfurled slightly, his brow scrunched in questioning. Thor's strong laugh morphed into a husky wheeze and Loki looked back at Thor, whose face was twisting horribly into new features. White shoulder-length hair replaced Thor's golden locks and he shrunk down, his muscles disappearing. Wrinkles grew on his face and his stubble grew long and white, to match his hair. A golden eyepatch covered his right eye and a staff had taken place of Mjolnir.

Loki looked at him with pure horror at the realisation of whom Thor had become and he backed desperately away from him, only succeeding in a few paces before his arms collapsed beneath him.

"Please, no! Anyone but you!" He shouted pleadingly.

It was Odin. His eye gleamed with malicious contempt as he walked past Loki and disappeared from his view, only the loud thumping of the staff on the floor allowed Loki to know of his whereabouts. The increasing thumping signalled his quick return and he once again stood in front of Loki, a bundle of cloths held in his left arm. A small pink hand reached from the bundle and a whimper soon followed. It groped the air for affection. Loki felt his breathing increase, he knew it was his daughter in the All-father's arms. Odin looked up from the child to Loki, a sinister, almost gleeful, grin on his face. Loki knew what he was going to do. He shot up to his feet and lunged at Odin.

"No!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. 

Loki''s hands swiped at air as Odin threw the child up and it disappeared with a swirl of smoke. The child's distressed cries echoed into silence. Loki's eyes brimmed with tears and he fell to his knees. 

"Why?"

Odin kicked him to the ground several feet away and followed after. He bent down and pulled Loki's head up by his hair, forcing Loki to keep his gaze. Pain ripped through his scalp and he exclaimed. He glared up at Odin with hatred and anguish.

"No son of mine, regardless of their true parentage will play mother to an infant, do you understand?" Odin hissed into Loki's ear.

When he didn't answer, he pulled harder on Loki's hair. Loki shouted with pain.

"Do you understand?!" He shouted. 

Loki gave a weak nod. Odin slammed his head into the hard ground and stood back. Loki squirmed on the floor. He aimed his sceptre over Loki's head all the while breathing harshly. He brought it down viciously onto Loki's vulnerable head, and his vision went black.


	10. Her Name Shall Be...

Loki woke up with a start, his breathing shallow and panicked. He jolted upright. Grabbing onto the mattress beneath him, he tried to calm himself down. He could hear his heart pump furiously in his ears. This was a rare sensation; the last time he could hear his heart was when he had first discovered his pregnancy. Cold air swept across his clammy forehead and he wiped away the sweat. In his distress, his skin has deepened into the cool blue of his true appearance. The bed covers were sprawled on the floor from where he'd tossed and turned frantically in his sleep. 

What was that?

Gradually, his breathing evened out. His head throbbed dully at the side where Odin's staff had collided with his skull in his vision. Wearily, he lifted up a hand to soothe the pain and rubbed gently in small circles. A sour taste lingered in his dry mouth and caused bile to build up in his throat. He swallowed, hoping it would get rid of the taste and phlegm, but instead a wave of nausea came crashing over him and he barely reached the toilet before he threw up. He spat the remaining mucus into the sink and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his top. Sighing, he stumbled back to his bed, the child started to kick again and Loki knew that he would not get back to sleep. 

Two days. Two days before the child was born, and Loki had given up on escaping. There was nothing to do but sit back and count down the painful hours till daybreak, or at least when Loki predicted daybreak was. There were no windows or any indications as to what time of day it was in the room, the only thing that confirmed that it was night were the lights switching off at the end of the day.

Loki sat there for hours, alone with his thoughts and the child. 

"It won't be long until you force your way out of me..." He mumbled, glaring down at his stomach, "And once that happens, you'll be out of my life forever, whether I like it or not. I could never bring you up, out in the world, with no roof over our heads or any money to trade for food. You're weak, so you need a protector. I can't do that, mainly because I am not in a position to care for you. In your 8th year of living, I will probably still be kept here because of their ignorance." He looked away, staring at nothing, she moved, "You, also, are a result of pain and rape, I cannot possibly raise you with the false intention that I wanted you. You are a constant reminder of that night. In fact, that's all I can remember for months, just that one memory for all of that time. If I did keep you, then it will be there, constantly, on your face, in your laugh, haunting me. I don't want that." He paused, splaying his fingers across his shirt, "For me or for you."

He was subconsciously biting his non-existent nail and staring at the end of the bed when he sensed that someone was walking up to the glass. He knew who it was. Loki remained still, refusing to meet Thor's gaze. Dark circles surrounded his eyes from lack of sleep and his skin was even paler than it usually was. Wan skin stretched over his cheekbones and cast darker shadows onto his hollow cheeks. His sleek, black hair was now static and unkempt. After his vision, his magic had weakened somehow, which caused his illusion to become slightly translucent, parts of his untainted appearance shone through.

"What are you going to call her?" Thor finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

Loki looked down at his hand, he didn't want to look at Thor, not after his vision.

"Her name shall be Drali." He murmured.

He hadn't given it much thought, but it fit. It roughly translated into 'unwanted', after all it spoke truth about Loki's feelings towards her. Loki never planned for her, nor did he want her. She was a burden to him, a nuisance. Thor unfolded his arms, eyes sad. 

"It is not her fault that she wasn't planned, it wasn't her that brought herself into existence, it was you."

Loki was stunned, almost paralysed by anger. Thor didn't know what happened and yet, it was like he did. Loki's face boiled with anger, but he didn't notice.

"If you call her such an ugly name then she will grow up with hatred and loathing in her heart. She would go through life lonely and unwanted, no one should wish that upon a child, not even you." Thor softly said, shaking his head.

Loki appeared swiftly in front of Thor, his heated breath steamed on the glass. His face was a sea of pure rage and he quivered angrily. Words could not describe the searing anger he felt underneath his skin. Icy tendrils of blue crept up his neck and across his clenched fists, inklings of blood red flecked his green eyes and quickly blotted them out. Markings grew on his forehead and hands. 

"How dare you say that it was my fault, you weren't there when it happened, you weren't there at all. Ever." He growled venomously, cocking his head to the side, "And yes, I wish that upon her, with all my heart. I wish for her to experience the pain and loneliness I suffered from all of my life, for her to have blackness in her heart, to understand how being different isn't accepted in the world, this one and ours." He hissed, red eyes burning with fury.

Thor's eyebrows arched, giving him a puppy expression. It only added fuel to Loki's fire.

"Loki, mother and father lo-"

"HE NEVER LOVED ME!" Loki roared. "Were you that blind? I was just another piece in his petty game of war, not once did he see me as his true son, a potential ruler of Asgard! He banished my children from me to save his reputation. He didn't want to be known as the grandfather of such 'monstrous beasts'! And once I had become useless to him, thanks to you, he tossed me away, like a discarded puppet! It was always going to be you who succeeded Odin, he would rather have his own brute blood than a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard! A frost giant more fit to rule Asgard than his single-minded grunt son! It should've been me, not you!" 

"You know that's not true Loki, you would have turned Asgard to ruins with your lust for power!" Thor thundered.

"Oh, and what of your lust for constant war? Huh, Thor? What good would that have brought onto the people of Asgard? By the end of your first decade of ruling Asgard would've been reduced to burning ashes!"

"I have changed in my exile!" Thor shouted, "My transformation was for better, your's however has brought down nothing but chaos and devastation wherever you have roamed!"

Loki hissed at Thor.

"You're too thick to realise it you oaf!" He spat, sending his spittle flying, "All of that attention and worship you have wallowed in has gone to your head and made you swine-headed. But if I can't have Asgard, then I'll settle for Midgard. I'll find your oh so adored and I will make her wait hand and foot on me, I will torture her until the merest mention of your name causes her to scream with hatred! She will live mis-" 

Loki stopped mid-sentence and doubled over.

His face screwed up with pain and his mouth stretched open, the scream muted by agony. The blue suddenly returned to the pale skin he had adopted. He stumbled backwards and fell heavily onto his side, hands clutched at his stomach. Thor slammed his fist against the glass, helpless to aid his brother.

"Loki!" 

After a few seconds of writhing in pain, Loki drew in a much needed breath into his burning lungs, spluttering and coughing onto the floor. Panting, he looked up at Thor, his eyes were wide with fear.

"Help me."


	11. Gods Of Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've finally got another chapter up, Hail Mary mother of Christ. I will have another up in the next few weeks.

Thor rushed up to Stark's lab to find the philanthropist talking urgently in a hushed tone to Fury. His hands were flying all over the place. It seemed he was concerned too, and although it wasn't Thor's primary thought, he did wonder why the little man was so affected by it. Stark looked over Fury's shoulder and spotted Thor, he nearly did a double take. He cut the director off and pushed past him towards Thor. 

"Thor, h-"

"I know, I know."

"It's early, but not by too much, I think it'll be fine."

"It will be fine." Thor growled.

Stark looked over his shoulder where Fury was standing and tapping his shoe on the ground. 

"I-I had to tell him, he would find out anyway and it would be safer just in case something does go wrong..." 

Thor nodded quickly and strode over to the board displaying Loki's condition. He couldn't care less if Fury knew or not, what mattered was helping Loki. The bottom of the spine and abdomen were pulsating red and his pulse had increased slightly. The pain levels spiked as he was hit with the second contraction. In the camera, Thor could see his jaw clench as he shook from trying to withstand the pain. For Jötuns, childbirth was more gruelling than Asgardian or Midgardian birth. Loki, being a small Jötun, had smaller hips, but the child would still be large. It would require a lot of energy and pain on Loki's side to bring her into the world. Thor knew that his brother was aware of this. His back was pressed firmly against the side of the wall and his forehead shone with sweat. The child had swelled his stomach significantly and his shirt stretched uncomfortably over it, the fabric rode up underneath his mound to reveal a sliver of blue skin. His breasts had grown slightly from the formation of milk, a gentle curve added to his otherwise flat chest. A strangled moan forced its way up his throat and through his clenched jaw, and blue veins pulsed boldly against the pale skin on his neck. Soon after, his muscles relaxed and he slumped against the wall as the contraction ebbed away, a look of fierce anger on his face. His shaky breath could be heard through the audio. Thor snapped his head towards Fury.

"Is there anything we can do?" 

Fury looked unsure, eyes narrowed in thinking. He took in a breath and faced Thor.

"I'm no doctor, but I think it's too early on to ask him to push, and am I right in saying that he didn't want any help?" He asked.

Stark nodded in response. Fury flicked his eyebrows up and slowly blinked.

"Then the only thing we can do is sit tight, I don't want to risk having any of my agents being ripped apart by momma bird down there. I'll contact our ground base to ask for a trained medic to be flown up here, just in case shit hits the fan. They won't arrive for quite some time though. But, for now, I would think that he would want a comforting figure by his side, his brother perhaps?" Fury hinted at Thor.

"I am unsure whether he will welcome me, last time he did I broke his trust in me, and my brother isn't a forgiving man." 

"Trust me, Thor, you are the only person he wants with him right now, in the entire world."

"I remain doubtful of this..."

"I don't care if you remain doubtful for the next goddamn century, I'm giving you an order: go down and support your brother!" Fury shouted, jabbing his finger to the video feed of Loki.

"No mortal may order me to do anything, Fury. Remember, I was once seen as a god in your people's eyes." Thor growled warningly.

Fury's eyes blazed as he gritted his teeth.

"I don't give two shits and I sure as hell don't worship your ass," he hissed, "Your brother is down there by himself after being exiled from Asgard and left in the streets. Whilst you were living it up in your palace, he was more than likely trying to find a place to sleep for the night." He took in a breath through his nostrils, still glaring at Thor, "He is in labour in a foreign land, there is no way he isn't scared out of his mind at the moment. Have the balls to go down there and support him, and stop wallowing in your self-pity, it never got anyone anywhere, so suck it up and get on with it!" 

Thor looked down at the floor, he felt the weight of Fury's judgement on his shoulders, and the guilt that had began to grow in his chest.

 

"If you truly think it will benefit him, I shall."

"Hail Jesus he finally gets it." Fury raised his hands upwards sarcastically.

"But I will not be mocked and put to shame by you." Thor said, tending his arm.

"Don't worry, you're not special. The code for the door is 91981, try not to forget it."

Thor recited the number quietly and looked at Fury with contempt when he was sure he had memorised it. He ran out of the door, the frame slammed the side of the wall and cracked.


	12. Chapter 12

Pain.

 

Everything was in _pain_.

 

Loki gasped through the end of the next contraction and ground his teeth hard, his hands gripping onto his bent legs with his nails threatening to puncture the thin reddened skin. He hadn't forgotten the pain, but he was never prepared for it. It was a specific agony, deep within his stomach. He could feel his muscles contract individually, something only Jotüns experienced it seemed, since no one else in Asgard had reported similar reports on childbearing. This made the pain even more intense and only reminded Loki of the upcoming birth where it would be even worse, even more excruciating around the babe’s body.

A Metallic taste lingered on his tongue from where he had accidentally sunk his sharp canines into during the previous wave and it gently throbbed with weak pain, secondary to that he experienced within his abdomen. When the constriction had dulled from the ebbing contraction, Loki decided to pace his cell to give his aching back a rest, and although he didn't have much distance to travel he still found it better for him. Gravity worked his muscles open. Allowed for a shorter labour.  It took a few tries and help from the bar to get up with his heavy stomach, but eventually, he was standing on his two feet not that he could see them over his new mound. The grey shirt clung to his clammy skin and rubbed uncomfortably.

After about five minutes of trying to withstand the uncomfortability, annoyance got the better of Loki and he peeled it off with a sigh of relief from the cold air on his hot body. The skin around his stomach had turned blue, from the child. It would be born in its Jötun form, so whilst it remained inside of him, the surrounding organs and skin would also revert back to their untainted form to avoid his skin freezing from her subzero temperature. He looked down at his swollen stomach and breasts. With the way his stomach sagged heavily with the weight of the child, he was glad he didn't have to suffer through months of this, a few hours were bad enough. He watched intently as the child moved and pushed against his stomach, little hands and feet appearing as  bumps on Loki's tight skin. They hurt, but in a strangely good way. He delicately brushed his index finger across one of the bumps, his gentle touch tickled his skin. Loki frowned briefly before another contraction seized him. He took in a sharp breath through his teeth and curled his fists. His mouth opened in an ‘o’ as he exchanged his shouting to heavy pants. 

 

"Why must it be so painful?" He groaned, one hand rubbing his stomach consolingly and the other wiping the gathering sweat from his brow.

 

"To allow time for the mother to prepare." 

 

Loki turned to face Thor, unaware of his arrival. Labour must've been taking its toll on him, for if he was in his normal state, he would've heard Thor's heavy feet from a mile off. The oaf stood there, serious-faced and somber, as if he were at a funeral, instead of the opposite. Though it was condemnation for Loki. Midgardian clothes strangely suited him, it confused him. He had never seen Thor in such robes until then, he was used to seeing him clad in leathers and chain, battle armours were frequent too. The pains faded.

 

How long has he been there? Loki thought, hoping that he had missed him stoking his stomach.

 

"Have you come to mock my pathetic appearance?" Loki asked.

 

He glared at Thor, who continued to stand there without responding to his jab. When he didn't get a reaction, Loki sighed and fell onto the bed with a groan, rubbing his face with his hands. He hated it when Thor didn't rise up to take the bait, it made him feel uncomfortable, and not in control.

 

"How did this happen?"

 

Loki looked at Thor with apprehension.

 

Of course he was reluctant to tell him the story behind all of this, it would make him look weak in Thor's eyes, weaker than he already appeared to be. But, the truth had to be told one way or another. Diverting his gaze downwards, he rested a hand on top of his round stomach and rubbed it soothingly, whether it was soothing him or the child, he wasn't certain.

 

"It was against my will."

 

Silence. Thor was speechless, cold shock pierced his heart, before manifesting into anger that swarmed like a black cloud under his skin. But, there was also a small stream of guilt, running down his throat, about what he had said to Loki. It made sense now.

 

"You-you were raped?" He exclaimed.

 

Loki nodded. After a while, he glared at Thor through narrowed eyes.

 

"Does it surprise you?" He asked sarcastically.

 

Again, Thor ignored him. He had grown used to Loki's defensive strategy of retaliating in such a fashion, and he had found that the best way to deal with it, was to pretend it never happened, as what he was doing. His eyes stayed firmly on Loki's.

 

"Who did this to you?"

 

Loki shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, laughing bitterly.

 

"I'll tell you when I know." He said with cold humour.

 

Thor frowned.

 

"I will find him and pay for his crimes against you, brother."

 

Loki's face was like stone now, and a dark look swirled in his green eyes. Thor had only seen it once before, and that was when he had stopped Loki from destroying Jötunheim, during the brief words they had exchanged, Loki wore the same look. It meant destruction, anger and vengeance.

 

"Make no mistake, Thor," Loki said, his voice low, "I intend to revoke that punishment in person.”

 

Thor typed in the code onto the motherboard which unlocked a small door on the glass with a rush of air. He walked in and quickly sealed the door behind him again, Loki watched his every move. He rolled his eyes.

 

"Don't worry, it's not like I can get very far." Loki mumbled, fiddling with his hands.

 

The bed creaked as Thor sat down beside Loki. His skin rippled as the child moved and kicked. Watching curiously, Thor gestured towards Loki's stomach.

 

"May I?"

 

Loki looked at him with brief disgust before it turned into submission and he lifted himself to face Thor, huffing and puffing whilst he did so. Gently, Thor placed his hands onto Loki's large stomach, the warmth seeping into Loki's cold skin. He flinched slightly, surprised at how warm Thor's hands were on his skin. Where Thor touched, the blue retreated to show Loki's alabaster complexion. Thor's face suddenly lit up as he felt a shoulder glide against his palm.

 

"Wow." He chuckled, staring wondrously at Loki's swollen stomach.

 

Loki began to laugh, but it quickly turned into an exclamation of pain and a few gasps for breath. Thor felt Loki's stomach contract underneath his hands and he pulled them back sharply, unsure what to do, whether he should comfort Loki or leave him to soldier through. Loki grasped his left hand and breathed through the contraction, crushing it with his iron grip. After a couple of minutes or so, Loki'sbreathing regulated and he looked down at his shining stomach, his hand still grasping Thor's. He slowly looked up at Thor, and Thor could see the fear and asking in his eyes. He didn't have to say anything for Thor to realise the look of a desperate brother in need of comfort.

 

What was 12 hours seemed like an eternity for the labouring Loki. Thor remained by his side all the time, soothing him and offering a hand to clasp onto. The intervals between contractions were shortening, and soon they were only a few minutes apart, giving Loki little rest. They tried various positions to keep Loki comfortable. Sitting on the bed, on the floor, pacing back and forth, rocking on all fours until they stuck to the middle of the room, swaying gently. Loki had his arms wrapped around Thor's neck with his face buried into his chest as his muffled moans signalled the start of another contraction. They gradually got louder as the pain worsened. His nails dug into Thor's soft skin and Thor tried to hold in the whimper. Loki's tight stomach pressed against Thor's and he could feel the child moving and kicking within Loki.

 

"Do they normally move this much?" Thor asked, looking down at Loki.

 

Loki shook his head, unable to speak with the pain. Thor sighed and continued to sway with him, his hands resting on the belt of his trousers. The next contraction hit Loki with surprise, causing him to cry out. Loki pulled on Thor's neck for support and felt his knees begin to buckle. Thor's quick battle reflexes kicked in and he held Loki up by latching his arms under Loki's arms and onto his shoulders.

 

"Do you want me to put you down?"

 

"Yes!" Loki gasped.

 

Thor placed him against the wall delicately and fetched the shirt as Loki pulled down his trousers and pants to make way for the child to pass, every so often holding back a scream. Diverting his stare politely, Thor draped the shirt over Loki's bare legs and knelt down at his side, offering his numb hand once again to Loki's merciless grasp. No longer could Loki reduce his pain to moans as a guttural scream scratched its way out of Loki's throat. A gush of fluids flooded out from under the shirt and Loki gasped with the sudden release of pressure, his eyes widening. His relief, however, was cut short as a contraction tore through him, the cushion softening the pain was now gone and he was feeling the full force of the contraction. He knew that he couldn't resist the urge to push much longer. He nodded his head to signal for Thor to keep watch for an emerging head. Understanding the gesture, Thor hurried to in between Loki's legs, trying hard to ignore any feelings of disgust or awkwardness at the sight of Loki's borrowed genitalia. He knelt down and almost immediately wished that he hadn't, as the warm fluids seeped into his trousers. Shaking it off, he focused his attention downwards.

 

Shuffling backwards, Loki reached the climax of the next contraction and opened his legs apart to make room for the child. With a deep breath, he began to push, straining with all of his might. He growled with pain, the pressure increasing as the child slid further down his canal. Each push inched the child closer to his opening, each contraction somehow getting even worse. After an hour or so of pushing, the head was finally close to appearing. It stopped just behind Loki's opening, he could feel her hair brush against his entrance. The blue had stretched down Loki's front, and showed the child's progress.

 

"She's close." Loki panted, half to himself and half to Thor, who gave a curt nod in response. 

 

In the very short interval between contractions, Loki sat up off the wall and squatted down with his hands gripping the low metal bar that was attached around the cell. He braced himself for the next one, it was going to hurt. A lot. Another contraction hit hard and Loki dropped his chin to his chest. He pushed, shouting as the large head began to engage with his sensitive skin. He shot his head up and sweat flung from his hair. A small bulge had began to appear from where the child was slowly nearing the blue exit, and Thor could see it travel downwards each time Loki pushed. Each time Loki ceased his pushing, he let out a frustrated exhale of air. Eventually, Thor saw glimpses of hair poke out before sliding back in. He found his hand upon Loki's heaving back and rubbed it soothingly, although Loki hardly noticed as his attention was focused on the birth. His head lolled back onto his shoulders as he moaned with the pain. His opening had begun to part slightly, an oval of blue skin and wisps of hair were visible along with a string of mucus hanging from the front. The child's head created a great bulge in between his legs which were trembling from the strain. He heard Thor gasp behind him and turned his neck slightly to the side.

 

"Her head, brother! It's emerging! It's...It's blue...?" Thor exclaimed.

 

Loki released his grasp of the pole and reached down to hold his entrance. Her scalp was wet against his palm. Thor could really be clueless at some points.

 

Loki laughed airily. He was also dumbfounded at Thor's reaction to a very obvious trait.

 

"That's my girl!" He rasped, right before another contraction hit him, he kept his hand supporting his opening as he squatted lower.

 

"Nnnngh...”

 

He pushed again, feeling himself open more and more as the head began to make its way into the world. He let out involuntary whimpers at the stretching of his opening. Warm Fluids trickled down his fingers and pooled in his palm. Suddenly, he gasped with scalding pain as his opening bulged around the head, it was fully in his entrance now and swelled it painfully. It felt like his skin had been set alight with fire and he thrashed frantically.

 

"Ahhh, it burns, it burns, ahh! Pressure! Pressure around the h-head!" He gasped, throwing his fist blindly against the hard floor.

 

Obeying his orders, Thor hesitantly manuvered his hands around the fuzzy orb and pressed down gently, willing the head to slowly come out without tearing Loki.

 

Every inch of Loki's body was screaming at him to push, but he resisted it, knowing the potential consequences if he did. He rested his forehead against the wall, eyes screwed shut with agony and panted, his breaths were quick and shallow. His muscles were being stretched to their very limits, one push and he would start to tear. Thoughts raced around his head, each second a new idea darted from the previous one. Just a couple more pushes and his daughter would be in the world, but for what? He had never expected nor had he planned for this to happen when he was first stranded on Midgard. 2 years... 2 long, miserable years selling his body for pleasure to barely scrape by, and then to wind up expecting a child from rape? It was ironic. He didn't want this responsibility, so like he did with everything, he ran from it. But he was tired, so tired of continuously running from everything, from his parentage, his mind, responsibility. He couldn't do it any longer, and now it had caught up with him. He had pushed away any feelings of affection towards the child, he kept on telling himself that it was going to die anyway, so what was the point of growing attached? But what if the child did survive, then what? The next thought that came into his head made his blood run cold and dread creep into his veins. This thought had been one he kept in the back of his mind, a swirling, heavy, black thought.

 

He felt Thor's hands retract as the burning subsided and the familiar approach of another contraction dawned upon him.

 

"No...No more" He groaned, clenching his fists.

 

Thor looked over Loki's shoulder, one hand supporting the head.

 

"Loki, the head's nearly free, you can push now!" He said, watching as Loki began to convulse with resistance.

 

"NO! I refuse!" He shouted, thrashing around in agony, and in the process slipping down onto the floor, narrowly avoiding the child being harmed.

 

Loki forcefully pulled his legs together as far as they would go and screamed.

 

"Loki you have to push or else the child won't come!" Thor shouted desperately, holding onto Loki's flailing knee.

 

"NO! I won't let him take another!"

 

Thor frowned in deep confusion. Loki threw himself into his original position and grabbed Thor's t-shirt forcefully. He pulled him in close, a dark look on his face.

 

"He'll come for us, he'll find me, he'll find her and he'll take her away just like the others!" He shouted, throwing Thor back again.

 

And that was when Thor realised the truth.

 

That's why he was refusing to give birth, in fear of Odin ripping another child away from him. Each time Loki had given birth, as soon as the child had entered the world, Odin ordered for it to be taken away, to be sent into the darkest regions of the 9 realms so it would be impossible for Loki to ever see them again. The only children he was allowed to keep ended up with one of them killing the other and Sleipnir being reduced to Odin's mount. Even then, Odin had used the intestines of the fallen child to bind Loki to a rock in order for him to learn that he could never have any happiness in his life. Echoes of Loki's haunting past still remained in his brain, scarring his mind permanently. It was deeply rooted within him, like a parasite and caused him to live in constant fear of Odin taking away his children.

 

Thor wavered, debating on what to do. He knew that once Loki had made up his mind, it would take the whole of Asgard and more to change it, but if he didn't push, then he would be endangering both his and the child's life.

 

He stood up and ran out of the cell, ignoring Loki's screams of promises to kill him. Thor didn't have a doubt that he would fulfil his promise, or at least try to.

 

In no time, he had reached the lab. Stark and Fury were watching the screen urgently. Fury whipped around to face Thor. He pointed furiously to the screen.

 

"What the hell is goin' on down there?" He demanded.

 

"Loki is refusing to give birth, he fears that Odin will take the child away." Thor explained, eyes remaining on Fury.

 

Fury looked around in frustration before pinching the bridge of his nose whilst emitting a long sigh.

 

"What, does he think that some old bearded guy will just appear? Look, if he doesn't give birth by himself then I will be inclined to bring in what forces needed to get that child out of him, do you understand?" Fury said firmly, pointing at Thor, who nodded.

 

"I'll go and try to persuade him but if he doesn't then you know what'll happen." Fury grumbled, exiting the room with a swish of his coat.

 

Fury found Loki curled tightly in on himself, the child's blue head had inched out slightly more but not much. The hair was already beginning to dry, black wisps.He was screaming in pure agony as his body felt like it was tearing apart. Sweatdripped down his face from the heat and onto his bare skin before slashing into the pool of various fluids that had gathered underneath Loki. His sharp nails dug deep into his vulnerable arms, causing blood to flood around them. Blue Veins pulsed up his red neck and into his jaw, as well as across his hands. Apart from the shirt pressed between his chest and thighs, Loki was naked, the scars of beatings and torture marked his back like tattoos. His spine was jutting out from his back in a steep curve, some of his ribs were visible as they rapidly went in and out from Loki's panting. It was obvious that he was malnourished, bordering anorexic. After being in so much pain, all of his other illusions had also failed, including the one hiding his condition. Fury looked at him with sympathy, withholding the urge to recoil in horror of Loki's body (save for the other being presently coming out of him). This was the man, this was the God who had mercilessly slaughtered over 80 people, who almost caused the end of Earth as we know it, but when Fury looked down at this man, he didn't see all of that , he saw a terrified mother, willing to do anything to prevent his child being taken away from him, even if that meant not allowing the child to live at all. What was once a psychopathic God, cold, heartless and vicious, was now a mother, scared, irrational and in pain. He was like a frightened child. Loki looked at Fury with disdain, but Fury could see the terror in those green eyes as clear as he could see the sun in the sky.

 

"Loki Laufeyson, in order to ensure the safety of both you and your daughter you need to stop this childish act and push." Fury said with an urgent edge.

 

"No, I refuse to allow him to take her!" Loki screamed, his body thrashing around.

 

"Then I will have to get my people in to deliver her if you won't."

 

"If you even try to I'll rip them to pieces!" Loki screamed, spit flying from his mouth.

 

Despite the look of anger on Loki's face, Fury ignored the empty threat entirely, knowing full well that Loki was in no condition to even stand up, let alone engage in combat. With a sigh,Fury opened the door and knelt down beside Loki, glancing at the head protruding from him. He turned his head back to Loki slowly, maintaining his eye contact with him as he did so. Letting out another scream, Loki hit the floor several times with a fist and pressed his head into the ground. The skin around his knuckles had split and blood leaked out. Fury suddenly grabbed Loki's hand in his iron grip, catching Loki off-guard. He made a petty attempt at releasing his arm from Fury's grasp, pulling several times frantically, but he was too weak from labouring for 12 hours. Reluctantly, he allowed Fury to guide his hand downwards, unsure of what he was doing. Then, his hand connected with a fuzzy orb and Fury released his arm, sensing his work was done.

 

Loki gasped; he was touching his daughter for the first time. Through screams and spasms of pain Shakily, his fingers roamed around her head, touching the soft down that had grown thick already. His fingers ghosted across half her face, feeling her small nose. Suddenly, Loki couldn't hold it in any more, and he allowed his tears to flow. Not tears of pain, but tears of joy and the overwhelming desire to hold her in his arms. He had kept on telling himself that he would lose her, that he couldn't, wouldn't get attached to her, but it was already too late. He couldn't live without her, he loved her with all his heart, so much to the point that it hurt.

 

Deep within, Loki found a new supply of energy and determination as he shuffled into a more comfortable position. The next contraction hit and he strained hard against the pressure. Fury, upon realising that Loki was pushing again, threw out his hands in protest.

 

"Oh hell no, I ain't here to play nurse to any sorta birth, your brother can do that!" He shouted, earning an annoyed glare from Loki as he turned and ran out.

 

Loki was left on his own, and there was no stopping him now. He knew that Thor wouldn't get here by the time she was born, and that he had to do it by himself. Each contraction hit him wave after wave. He bore down again, resulting in her entire head being freed with a flush of fluids. This lessened the pressure slightly. He felt it hang against his leg and quickly checked to see if the cord was around her neck. Confident that it was safe to continue, he pushed again, his strength already waning. He supported her head lightly in his hand and pushed, feeling it press into his palm as it slowly came out.

 

" Get out!"

 

She twisted inside Loki, and he shouted with the pain. Her shoulders battered his entrance, causing tears of pain to spring up. The intense heat of his struggle caused him to gasp. The next couple of pushes didn't seem to work, she remained in the same place, with her shoulders stuck in his entrance. He decided that he would have to let gravity help, that or pull her, which required both hands and a suitable position. Grabbing the wall, he sat up, squatted down and pushed, resulting in a progress of an inch. But an inch wasn't enough, his energy was rapidly decreasing with each minute. Desperate times called for desperate measures. He grabbed her head in both hands and strained with all his remaining energy whilst pulling gently.

 

"Nnnnnrraaaagh!"

 

One of her shoulders slipped free, followed shortly by the rest of her. The pressure had gone suddenly from Loki's body, and he was in shock. Devoid of energy, his body slumped against the wall. His head felt light and foggy,like his vision. He was panting from the ordeal he had just gone through and his body was shaking. A piercing cry cut him from his daze as he realised that his daughter was on the cold floor alone. He leant over his legs and tried to focus on the blue body in between them. He reached over and scooped her into his shaking arms and looked around for something to wrap her up in. His eyes fell onto his T-shirt beside him.

 

It will suffice...

 

He picked it up and wrapped her up in it, still trying to register what had just happened. He wiped away the sweat from his forehead, waves of heat engulfed his body. Lifting her up slightly, he rubbed the area above his pubic bone for any signs of hardness that would indicate that another child was present, he didn't trust the picture Stark had. When he found none he sighed in relief. His vision cleared eventually, but his head felt like it had been hit by Mjolnir several times. He looked down at his daughter for the first time, clutching her tight to himself. Her blue face was screwed up from crying and her tiny fists flailed harmlessly, occasionally landing a blow to Loki's chest. Loki slumped down, panting. He had done it, she was here, his daughter, nobody else's, just his, and he wouldn't let anybody try to tell him otherwise. She was his to love, as he was her's.


End file.
